In 2021, when Daniel and I decided that I would be the one to move to The Netherlands for us to give a chance to our relationship, we didn’t have a precise plan. Daniel was pursuing a post-graduate program at the government and still had a year to complete. Afterwards? We would see where life would take us. It was always in our plans to keep living abroad in various countries, but we thought we would at least live 3 years in The Netherlands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, we could not have imagined that less than a year after my arrival, he would receive a job offer from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, leading us to make a decision that was going to change the rest of our lives. After a year that was high in emotions, adventures and adaptation periods, we were finally in a comfortable place in Amsterdam and focusing on simply enjoying it. This resting period will have been short-lived\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As mentioned, Daniel and I knew that we wanted to continue moving and live in other countries. However, when the ministry approached Daniel the first time, we really needed to think this through. Indeed, diplomatic life can seem like a dream life for some, but we had to ask ourselves the tough questions. Are we ready to be sent to ANY country for a period of 4-5 years without having a word to say? We could end up in dream destinations just as much as in destinations that are a bit more difficult or dangerous. Were we ready to take the risk? After my experience living in the Maldives, I knew I wouldn’t be happy living in a country where women’s rights are less or even non-existent. Also, knowing that we wanted to start a family someday, were we ready to live this life with children? Were we ready for them to grow up around the world, without a sense of belonging to a specific country and far away from their grandparents? All of a sudden, we really needed to think further into our future, about what we really want and how we want to achieve those dreams. Yes, diplomatic life has numerous advantages, but at what cost? People often have an idealized image that doesn’t reflect the sacrifices that come with it. After much reflection, we therefore decided that it wasn\u2019t the right time. I say “we”, as although it is Daniel’s career, it’s a life choice that also concerns me and that will have an impact not only on my career but on my entire life. Daniel had clearly let me know that our relationship was his priority and that he would only embark on this career path if I were 100% certain that I wanted this life and that it was equally my decision as his. At this point, I wasn’t ready to take the risk of being sent to countries where I knew I would be unhappy and Daniel understood completely. We therefore turned the page on this life option and continued building our life in Amsterdam, telling ourselves that we would choose together our next expatriation when the time would come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, a few months later, the opportunity presented itself again, this time offering us more flexibility on possible postings. Our position was clear: we wanted to have a say in where we were sent. We were well aware that this is not generally how diplomacy works, but it was our condition. The ministry assured us that we would be able to apply directly for positions in the destinations that interested us, and simply return to the Netherlands in the event that nothing suited us. This took us completely by surprise (in a positive way). So we went back to the drawing board with this new information. Daniel knew he was interested in the job, it wasn’t even a question. This career was his childhood dream. We just needed to be certain about the lifestyle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During our reflections, we realized that our dream of living around the world might not be so easy to achieve on our own. You can’t just wake up one morning and decide to move to New Zealand, for example. You need a work visa, which is hard to get, especially for two people at the same time, who also have different nationalities and therefore might go through a different process. Not to mention that moving abroad is not without its costs\u2026 Diplomatic life would allow us to live this dream without breaking the bank. Then, with the possibility of applying directly to postings (and therefore destinations) that interested us, it took a big chunk out of the worry of living in a country with conditions that don\u2019t match what we are looking for. Of course, the experience at a destination is what you make of it, and you have to keep an open mind, but we knew that there were certain situations in which we would find it difficult to live for such long periods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a few weeks of reflection, we made our decision: we would embark on the Dutch diplomatic path. It was agreed that this would start with 2 years at the Ministry in The Hague, to give Daniel time to learn the job and the required 3rd language, and to be ready for his first assignment. However, about 1 month later, the Ministry contacted us again to let us know that they were short of diplomats in 6 African countries and that if we wished, we could leave for a first assignment already this summer. The 6 countries were: Kenya, Tanzania, Morocco, Tunisia, Ethiopia and Benin. So we started searching on Google to try and find out more about life in these countries, both of us having never set foot in Africa before. Daniel hadn’t officially started his new job yet, so of course the ministry had to prioritize applications from candidates already employed, but they wanted to get a sense of our interest in the meantime, in case no one applied. After our research, we said yes to Kenya, Tanzania and Tunisia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Daniel finally started his new job at the ministry a few months later, he finally had some news about whether we would be leaving. Unfortunately, the 3 positions we had said yes to had been filled in the meantime. However, Benin remained an option and the embassy was looking for someone with exactly Daniel’s profile. This was a new position, intended to be a training post for new diplomats. The posting would also only be for 2-3 years, which is shorter than usual. So we initially said no, as it was difficult for us to visualize life in Cotonou, the city where we’d be based. There was so little information online about this very non-touristy destination that it was hard to get an idea of whether it was a place we could be happy in, especially for such a long period of time. We contacted several people on expat groups and had conversations with the Dutch embassy and the Canadian embassy office (so I could also talk to someone who might have the same cultural background as me!). After these discussions, we felt pretty reassured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After 1.5 years of fairly intense life in Amsterdam, a smaller city with a more relaxed lifestyle in Benin appealed to us. Moreover, given that we were thinking of starting a family in a few years’ time, we figured that if we wanted to experience West Africa, it would probably be either now or much later in life. And so, we said yes! In April 2023 we received confirmation that we were leaving, and so began the long to-do list of things to prepare before the big departure. We finally left the Netherlands at the end of August for our new adventure\u2026 Benin!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In 2021, when Daniel and I decided that I would be the one to move to The Netherlands for us to give a chance to our relationship, we didn’t have a precise plan. Daniel was pursuing a post-graduate program at the government and still had a year to complete. Afterwards? We would see where life…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":519,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[70,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diplomatic-life","category-personal-life"],"yoast_head":"\n